that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
