Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
