doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Ladies don't puke and tell
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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