how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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