Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
