They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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