I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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