and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize