guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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