just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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