Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
