You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I seem to have left my pride at pride
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
