Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I want to be your penis for a week.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
