On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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