Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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