season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
