I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
