Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
