i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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