I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
