i may or may not be watching the land before time
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
