how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
