your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
