forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
