Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
