maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
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I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
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I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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