we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just had sex bonerless
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize