So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
