Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
