Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
