You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
