She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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