How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
