i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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