Betty ford says i'm here all night
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
