Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
