I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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