the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
