Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
