a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
