i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Oh god it's open bar.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize