You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
