Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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