his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
