I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
