You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
