So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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