you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
