I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
