Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Rumble strips road head = magical
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So here I am, sexting at work.
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