I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
