I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.