Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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