is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.