farters have to be the big spoon...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I look better un-naked...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.