I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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