somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
