you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
