i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
