real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you still have your period?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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