i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
