Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
