New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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