Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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